Breast Cancer Survivor: Aubrey
1. First off, let's get an introduction - who are you, what do you do, and how can people connect with you?
Heeey! My name is Aubrey and I’m a Korean American adoptee living in Portland, Oregon. When I’m not helping run the family business during the day, you can find me reading, working out, creating something, or healing myself mind-body-soul. You can connect with me through email: aubrey.kyung@gmail.com or on IG @aubrey.kyung
2. For those who do not know you and your journey, could you briefly tell us about your fight with breast cancer?
In January 2019, I was diagnosed with Stage 1 triple-positive breast cancer. I fought through 5 rounds of chemo, opted for a double mastectomy with reconstructive surgery, and have been cancer-free since 6/26/2019. Currently, I have a monthly injection that puts me into menopause at the ripe young age of 37. Now I’m learning to love my new body and treat it like the temple that it is.
3. What do you think the biggest misconception about breast cancer is? How can people truly help their loved ones who may be going through this fight currently?
I think the biggest misconception about breast cancer is that every case is the same and that life is miserable every step of the way. Don’t get it twisted, fighting cancer isn’t easy but for my journey it was necessary. My sun is in Virgo, so once I was diagnosed I was like okay what’s the plan and when can I get my medical marijuana card?
For anyone who knows someone fighting cancer, check on them to the point of being annoying. Don’t ask how they are feeling, see what you can do for them - grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, etc. Unfortunately these days everyone knows someone close to them who has or had some type of cancer and it makes you feel a type of way. Keep those feelings in check if you are around someone actively fighting cancer. It’s hard enough dealing with our own feelings and thoughts about it, we can’t be the support system for those supporting us.
4. You are also a cannabis advocate. How has cannabis helped you personally?
Cannabis has been a savior during and after cancer. I’m thankful for my time working as a budtender at a dispensary because I used my knowledge of products to help myself when it came to fighting cancer. I believe cannabis is the reason why my surgeon couldn’t find the biopsy clip or any scar tissue where my tumor was. She will tell you it was the chemo, which yes I agree BUT before me she never questioned herself and if she got all the tissue out. If it wasn’t for cannabis, I don’t think I would have been able to fight cancer with the mindset that I had, and it allowed me to feel ok especially on the bad days. Currently, I take CBD daily alongside a healthy diet, exercise, and a standing appointment with my life coach every six weeks.
5. In addition to speaking up about cancer, you are also vocal about racism and injustice. What does being an ally mean to you?
As a Korean Adoptee who grew up in white suburbia, I didn’t know what it was like to be an ally until recently. For me being an ally means speaking up and having those uncomfortable conversations but also knowing that some people will never hear what you’re saying. It also means educating myself and questioning my thoughts and actions as well as donating money to local & national causes who are doing the work to dismantle the patriarchy. If 2020 has taught me anything it's to speak your truth even if those closest to you don’t agree or support it. I want to be able to look back and know that I was on the right side of history. I may not be a parent but as an aunt of two teenagers, I want them to grow up in a society that isn’t telling them who they should be but allowing them to choose who they want to be.
6. Let's talk wellness and boundaries, with all that you do, what boundaries have you established to ensure that you're also taking care of you?
2020 has taught me that boundaries are the only way I can protect my peace. I’ve learned to ask myself “ is this something that will help my journey or will this hurt my journey?” I haven’t had a drink since I was in Cabo at the end of February this year and it has been the biggest eye-opener when it comes to boundaries. There are some friends who aren’t friends or maybe never were friends because I no longer party. This has been one of the hardest lessons learned, but I would rather be home working on becoming my highest authentic self than out drinking. I’ve become addicted to feeling good when I wake up.
7. Do you have a routine when you're overwhelmed/stressed/burnt out? If so, please tell us!
These last few months I have created a morning routine that consists of waking up before sunrise, drinking a mug of warm water with lime juice & pink Himalayan salt, and meditating. It really sets the tone for my day and when you work with family, it's everything. If I have a stressful day at the office, I find that working out is how I can feel through that stress and let it go. I’ve learned that the best workouts are the ones I don’t want to do.
8. You have a tattoo with the date 2-22-2015, which represents the day your life changed. Tell us about that.
2-22-2015 is the day I got my DUI and serves as a reminder to never go back to who I was. Even though I’m in a place of gratitude for my life experiences thus far, my DUI was the beginning of a downward spiral of all things mind-body-soul. I finally took the leap to leave a toxic marriage and began the process of filing for divorce. For most people, I would imagine they would feel a sense of relief, for me I was going through the motions.
I attended my court-ordered group classes at a treatment center that only cared about swiping the credit card and not actually helping people find the root of their problems. I was literally drinking the entire time I was in diversion. The night before a 1-on-1 with my alcohol counselor, I had a beer at this place across the street from my apartment. Low and behold it was my last 1-on-1, and of course I was drug tested knowing that it would come back negative. I never went back, which was the beginning of me running from the law.
Now I was always taught to obey the law and I knew that this was something that wasn’t going to go away until I took accountability. Fast forward to 2018 and the cops came looking for me, but I wasn’t helping with the family business at the time. There was a bench warrant out for my arrest and it was time I finally took accountability for my actions. So I partied it up on my 35th birthday weekend and the next week, I turned myself into the Washington County Sherriffs. I spent 12 hours down in the holding area and I just thought to myself, “WTF are you doing? You are better than this.” I appeared in court on 10-12-2018 and was sentenced to 2 years probation, 80 hours community service, $2500 in court fees, and I was to attend group sessions until my counselor decided I had done the work. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in January 2019, and I continued to attend my weekly group sessions because I told myself it was time to take accountability, and I needed to show up for myself and the other ladies in my group. 2 years later I’m free at last!
9. You've had one hell of a life so far! What steps have you been taking to heal from past traumas, and what things do you do to ensure your emotional well-being stays well?
My DUI counselor is now my life coach and someone I have the utmost respect and love for. I have a standing appointment every six weeks and it's the best $50 I can invest in myself. She has taught me to let go of my ego and live a conscious life. These days, I’m able to sit next to what I like to call my “dark passenger” and be comfortable with being uncomfortable. In my journey, I’ve learned that the biggest lessons are when we are vulnerable and uncomfortable. The way I talk to myself and the quality of my thoughts are two vital things when it comes to my well-being. I’ve learned that I have to be my biggest fan because no one else will save me from myself.
10. What is the biggest lesson you've learned so far and why is this lesson so important?
SELF-LOVE!!! I can’t stress that enough. I’m not talking about facemasks and new clothes. I’m talking about being real with yourself, taking accountability for your actions, learning to unlearn coping mechanisms that are destroying you without you even knowing it. I think when you start to live a conscious life, it’s really hard to connect with people because they aren’t on the same vibrational frequency. Once I realized that, the way I interact and talk to people has changed dramatically but in a good way. I think self-love is so important because I believe it is the highest form of love. The way you treat yourself literally sets the tone for all the relationships in your life. If you want better, you have to be better.
